“LITTLE DID I KNOW”
Real life incident:
A guy came up to me and asked for some pages saying that he didn’t have a notebook. Being his batchmate, I gave it to him. Little did I know that it was ‘leading him on’. Later he asked which subject I liked the most. Little did i know that answering him was ‘leading him on’. Little did I know that wearing a kurti was ‘leading him on’. And slowly, all these things led me into a spiral.
” I like you”, he said. I was bewildered and taken aback. “Like me? But why” I asked him. He shrugged but didn’t answer. “Okay I guess, but I am not interested in such stuff” is what I replied. Little did I know that it translated to “Make me like you. I am just playing hard to get”. “But why? I like you a lot” he argued. ‘Scary’, is what came to my mind. I didn’t want to continue this any further, I wanted all of this to stop but the whole class was now looking at me. I hated being the center of attention for such kind of stuff. “I am sorry, but I don’t like such stuff”. “I will make you like such stuff then” he replied stubbornly. At that point, my mind completely went blank. It almost sounded like a threat. A shiver went down my spine. All the eyes were on me. “Please, I am really not interested”, I replied as coldly as I could.
So, what do you think happened after this? Did he respect my wish or just forced me into liking him?
If you chose either of the options, you are wrong. What he did do was the thing that almost all the girls have faced atleast once in their lifetime; Stalking.
What’s stalking? Let’s see what the lexicon says: Stalking is to “pursue or approach stealthily”. However in the above context, its not about stealth, but rather to create a sense of dominance over the person getting stalked.
Over the period that I was getting stalked, I wondered “why me? What did I do wrong”.
AND THAT’S WHERE FEMINISM ENTERS.
The first thing feminism dismantles is “victim blaming” and holds the perpetrator accountable. It teaches not only the society but also the victim, to not blame themselves for any kind of harrasment or assault that they faced or will face.
Feminism also tries to empower the voices of the victims, so that they can speak up about their own experiences. When one person speaks out on injustice, it gives the others a sense of comaraderie and helps them to speak their mind too.
This is one of the most basic aspects of Feminism that a lot of mysoginistic and sexist people look over whenever they try to “cancel” Feminism or reduce its meaning to “man hating”.
(As a cis woman, I will be using cis terms in most situations, as I am not really sure about the struggles that non-cis people go through)
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